Monday, May 30, 2011

Westboro Baptist Church Takes on The Klan

It's on- I guess. 
 This sounds awesomely fucked up, but hey that's life. A few hours before Barack Obama laid a reef at the Tomb of the Unknowns,  members of the Westboro Baptist Church were challenged by, interesting individuals who happened to disagree with them- people claiming to be from the Ku Klux Klan. It sounds so surreal and to be completely 100% honest,  I feel that WBC (of win this battle- so to speak. I mean how fucked up does your ideology have to be that you lose a standoff against people who protest near the resting place of dead soldiers on Memorial day- you'd have to be in the Klan. I already established- I'm a bigot. Once it comes out you have ties with the Klan, (Looking at you Haley Barbour.) You automatically lose. Doesn't matter what your argument is, you lose. 
  About 10 members of a group known as the Knights of the Southern Cross (A Virginia Klan affiliate.) said they were counter-protesting  the Westboro Baptist Church's anti-troop message(Dude... you're the fucking Klan.) Dennis LaBonte, the self-described "Imperial Wizard" of the Knight of the Southern Cross, is quoted as saying: 
"It's the soldier that fought and died and gave them that right to free speech," 
Of course, he has a point, and it's a great one but- he's the fucking "Imperial Wizard" and founded of the Southern Cross Knights. Being the, moderate I am it's only fair that I give his website- Knights Of The Southern Cross. You should leave him a nice email.  

  Anyway, Abigail Phelps won me over after  what she rather surprisingly said regarding the Knights, her words were: 
"That's fine,they have no moral authority on anything. People like them say it's white power...white supremacy, The Bible doesn't say anywhere that it's an abomination to be born of a certain gender or race." 
Considering her stance on homosexuals, people who have premarital sex, and musicians(They're all "fags" apparently, her words not mine.) I'm surprised they aren't racist or at least outwardly racist. 
 After more people (Non-Klan) began blocking the 3 WBC members, they eventually were forced back under their bridge-(get it?)  Phelps proclaimed she and her posse was there to tell people they should not "idolize" the dead, especially those who died for an "unrighteous cause." To be completely fair, of course the Klan was right, but still- it's the fucking Klan. Congrats WBC you win in my book. Happy Memorial Day.

Tupac is alive! (The problem with Wikileaks Pranks.)

No, no he isn't. But if you logged on to the PBS website, you would have seen a false story claiming that the late great rapper Tupac Shakur was alive and living in New Zealand( not Jamaica like most of these "Tupac is alive!" theorists claim.) The group that is taking responsibility for this action calls themselves "The Lulz Boat" or @Lulzsec on the popular website twitter. On the twitter account one status reads:

"Anyway, say hello to the insides of the PBS servers, folks. They best watch where they're sailing next time,"  

"Watch where they're sailing next time"? Now why would these guys do something like this- which could lead to serious jail time if they ever catch the perpetrators? Well the story goes the group was unhappy about a recent Frontline program about WikiLeaks that aired on PBS.

Lets pause here for a second, I haven't seen the special but I guess it probably wasn't very positive. Look, I know you people probably worship the ground Julian Assange walks on, but cyber terrorism is never the way. "BAAAAA they insulted Wikileaks" get the fuck over it, you think Assange will bail you out? Get you a lawyer? If you want to voice your opinions, do it legally and productively send your message out. These childish pranks makes Wikileaks supporters look like assholes and they have serious repercussions in the long run. Don't give me that bullshit of "they said/did something we didn't like! We have to defend! STRIKE BACK!" These hacking and DDOS attacks are counter productive in the end and makes you no better than the worse government censoring. 

Anyway, The fake Tupac article claimed the rapper was alive and residing in a small New Zealand resort .(just roll with it)  It goes on to say a small town there also housed deceased rapper Biggie Smalls for years. CNN also reports that, The Lulz Boat also created a page within the PBS website  that says:


Thanks for making the movement against the inhumane treatment of an American whistle blower look like a joke. Assholes. 
As of 2:00 pm the Fake Tupac story and all other hacked pages, are gone. 

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

The Holy Bible is So Gay.

A little disclaimer before I get into this: I'm not an expert and I don't claim to be, it's not my purpose to offend or insult. I am also not a homosexual, homophobe, Christian, or Christophobe. So, 400 years ago this month, the world was greeted with what is possibly the most popular translation of the Bible- The King James Version(KJV). The reason it's the most popular has to do with how easy it is to read and how well it flows. This, along with British imperialism lead to it become what it is, one of the most popular versions of the Holy Bible. The book is named after King James(of course), because James wanted to bring together the Purists and followers The Church of England.
King James commissioned around 47 people to translate the Bible to "Commoner English" in 1604. In May 1611 it was finished and distributed throughout England and made it's way to the Colonies. History was made, and it's a pretty amazing story considering today it only takes seconds to distribute written materials worldwide.
Well, with the backstory completed let's talk about something more recent. For years Homosexuals have been on a campaign to be allowed to marry legally. The most resistance they come against is from the conservative Christian Right and Left(yes there are leftists who oppose gay marriage.) Their entire argument is that, homosexuality is a sin and that allowing them to marry would either lead to all of us becoming gay or invoke God's wrath on our nation.(These people win 6 out of 10 times). 
Being the rational Heterosexual man I am- I'm just going to be as blunt as possible. I could give less than a fraction of a fuck if Bob marries Stan or Jane sleeps with Tammy. It's really none of my business. I've always thought(maybe I'm the bigot here?) that a large percentage of those against gay marriage, are afraid they'd be the among the first to get one. Now I'm pretty sure, given that it's the most popular version(I even have one in my house), it could be determined that most of these people use the King James Version of the Bible to justify their, for lack of a better word, hatred of homosexuals. Let's not call them hypocritical or ignorant, let's just use my favorite word- misguided.
You see the great irony of them using the King James Bible is that most historians agree, King James was at least Bisexual(given the fact that most royal marriages weren't based on love at the time, it's more likely he was gay). James reportedly had intimate relationships with at least 2 men.

Let that sink in for a second, the man who's name graces the Bible some of them use to justify their homophobia- was gay. It's almost hilarious how ironic it is. The most well known English translation of the Bible, was not just named after but also commissioned, by a gay man.Doesn't that just blow your mind? 
Now it should be noted that all of them don't use the KJV, but a large percentage of them do. It's just something to think about. Next time you come across someone who comes out strongly against homosexuality based on the Bible- ask them which version they use. They might be surprised to find out how gay it really is. JustDaTruthHomie, accept no substitutions. 

Tuesday, May 24, 2011


Seriously, I have nothing better to say other than- this guy is an idiot. Last week he had predicted the "Rapture" would begin with powerful earthquakes at 6pm local time in each of the world's regions, after which around 200 million people, would be taken into Heaven. When that didn't happen of course he had a lot of explaining to do, so of course- he switched the date out of nowhere. This new doomsday prediction comes after Harold Camping discovered the world didn't end on May 21st. This guy man, this crazy old man.

Friday, May 20, 2011


Could the world possibly end on May 21st, 2011? Actually, yes. It could also end on the 22nd, the 23rd, and so on. But will it? Probably not. It's amazing to me how far sheer lunacy spreads in this country. But with that said, if I wake up tomorrow and hear the Fukushima Daiichi nuclear plant exploded at 6 pm Japan time, I'd believe it. I never really understood the concept of the Rapture and being left behind so I use the phrase, doomsday. But hey if the Rapture just so happened to occur- I'll pray to Buddha, Jesus, Allah, whoever.

The man behind the May 21st scare is Harold Camping(pictured above) an 89-year-old radio host that has been predicting doomsday for years. In the 90′s, he published a book entitled "1994?"(insert Orwellian joke here.) In it he claimed Judgement day would come on September, 1994. When asked about why the world did not end in September he has to learn from his mistake of not considering the book of Jeremiah.(Uh-huh..)

I always wondered "what is the end of the world?" I figured it wasn't literally the Earth exploding but more along the lines of the end of the Mankind- which is pretty possible.(Look at the Dinosaurs) But it's probably way too early to worry about a mass extinction. The other theory, and the one they're going with is that Gods going to rip open a hole in the space-time continuum where he exists. Then by means of a giant vacuum he's going to suck up the good Christians(and a few Jews for some reason) then take them too Heaven while those who are left are going to be tortured by demons until God's son Jesus comes back and fights his evil brother(I wish I was making this up) who will do battle until one wins and something vague happens... And we give these people airtime? There are way more important things to worry about. I'll see you Sunday.

Macho Man Randy Savage is Dead.

I wonder if the Kool-aid man ever sued him.

"Macho Man" Randy Savage died today in a car wreck, according to TMZ. This was unexpected. I'm still trying to figure out words to put to this. But yeah, it's reported that he suffered a heart attack while driving and ran into a tree. Never thought I'd say this twice in one day, but my condolences.

Given the fact that he suffered a heart attack(Too many Slim Jims? I'm such a terrible person.) we all know where this is going- did steroid abuse lead to his death? I can only say, maybe. He was 58.

Dead Teen's Mother Sues Four Loko.

Hide yo kids.

The story goes, 15 year old, Bo Rupp of Centreville, Va, purchased a Four Loko from a convience store after a country rock concert. His parents say Rupp didn’t know the drink would make him intoxicated. (Why was he even able to get a hold of it?) Now there are two versions of what happened after he drunk the Four Loko. The first says, after leaving the event, he sat down in the middle of a dark road and was struck by a sport-utility vehicle.... Tragic. Now the second version says, she actually went to the event to pick him up, he then jumped from the car and ran into the street and well- got hit by an SUV.  Now, Four Loko says the drink was intended for people over the age of 21 which is correct, no one under the legal drinking age is able to buy them. 
Now don't get me wrong, what happened to this boy was certainly terrible but this goes back to the old argument-  you can't blame the gun manufacturer for the murder. Why was this teenage boy able to even purchase an alcoholic drink? And what's with the double standard? If this was an adult who got hit by a car while he was drunk we'd say it was a sad story and the guy was a complete idiot. How is this marketed to teens anymore than any other beer or wine cooler? This lawsuit is crazy and I'm sorry to say this but, this isn't going to bring your kid back and it makes you look like you're trying to profit off of this. Just drop this lawsuit and perhaps join an organization that rallies against teenage drinking. 
My condolences.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Justice League Unlimited: The Once and Future thing Part 1.

I already discussed how the last episode of Batman Beyond airing on Justice League Unlimited, needless to say I thought it was a pretty good episode but the series has had way better ones. Now I must admit, this show use to bore the hell out of me as a kid, but I love it now. Upon thinking about why I didn't like this show I realized that unlike Teen Titans or The 2003 TMNT series, this show was not remotely intended for children, at all. Often times it seemed like, a superhero soap opera. Take one of the first scenes of this two-parter for instance. 
The first time we see our heroes is in the justice league cafeteria, Batman is talking to the Green Lantern about the love triangle he's in with Hawkgirl and Vixen(Oh snap, drama!) And Green lantern implies Bruce has a thing for Wonder Woman, to which Bruce dismisses but still praises Diana who was standing behind him listening to his kind words. 
I sense a disturbance in the force.

Then the alarm sounds signaling there's an intruder inside the Justice League HQ They go to where he intruder is located and see Chronos. I didn't want to mention the very beginning of the episode at first, you see the episode opens in the future with a loud obnoxious woman yelling at her college professor husband about all the junk in their basement then she goes on a tangent about how useless he is and how he was upset about being denied tenor right before he was on the verge on discovering time travel. He then informs her that all of the junk in the basement is thing he stolen while going back in time, but it's mostly trash like Cleopatra's comb. 

If you look closely, you can see milk covered lice!

This irritates her and she goes on another short tangent about how stupid he is, going back in time an not taking anything of value, which ticks him off and leads him to go to the past to JL HQ to steal one of Batman's utility belts which leads us to the scene I previously mentioned. 
This offers a great insight into the Cronos character. It shows him as a man who is constantly chastised by his wife and this helps explain his motivation for what he does during the 2 episodes, the last one in particular. After Batman, the Lantern and Wonder Woman confront Chronos at JL HQ, Chronos panics and jumps through a time portal with the heroes chasing through the portal after him. To their surprise they arrive in the old west and Chronos is no where to be found. They run into a band or criminals, subdue them and take their clothes. They proceed to the closest town and walk into a salon. While there we see a card game go awry between Bat Lash and the bad guy named Tobias. Bat and Tobias then proceed to pull out their guns to which we see Tobias pull out a seemingly impractical futuristic gun with six barrels attached to robot arms.

Doc Ock Ain't got shit on me.
 He then informs Bat that this is his town and it's his rules then he sentences him to death and has his goons toss him in jail. Our heroes go to rescue him and see a noticeably older Chronos in the cell next to Bat, he tells our heroes that even though they arrived seconds apart, Chronos had been stranded there for 6 months. He also tells them Tobias stole his time belt and used it to gain control over the western town. They release Chronos after he informs them that he only wants to go home. Tobias, who installed surveillance cameras all over town, sends more of his goons to the jail house and they proceed to open fire with our heroes inside. 
When all hope seems lost, we see Jonah Hex, El Diablo, and the former Sherif Ohiyesa "Pow Wow" Smith give back up to our heroes and together they defeat Tobias' goons and the decide to go after Tobias' desert compound.

My movie wasn't that bad was it?
 They storm his compound which is loaded with future weapons, tanks, and robots. Once they defeat Tobias' forces, we see them confront Tobias and disable his super gun. Tobias then calls upon his flying horse( yes it was that random) and tries to flee. Pow-Wow, goes after him alone, brings down his flying horse (which turns out to be a robot) and then beats the crap out of him. 

"Hi-yo, Silver! Away!".
They return the belt to Chronos who goes back on his word and attempts to leave our heroes behind. They once again jump through the time portal after him and end up in Neo-Gotham. We see the Jokerz greet our heroes and say they were waiting for them to show up. Then the last remnants of the future Justice League(Batman, Static, and Hawkman) swoop down to help our heroes. Part one ends with Green Lantern asking Static "what's going on?" and Hawkman exclaiming "Dad?" (dun dun dun) 
"The results are in. Mr.Stewart, YOU ARE THE FATHER.

This is a pretty good episode as should be expected from this excellent series. See you next time for part 2.

Overall Enjoyment: 7/10
Rewatch Value: 8/10
Final Score: 7.5/10
be sure to check out my pals at The Awesome Critics.

The PlayStation Network is down... again.

I can't remember the last time I even used my PSP GO, but the cheapskate in me saw the headline "Free PSP games in Sony's welcome back package" So I decided to of course, check this out. Having not used my PSP for a number of months, I had to update it. So when that was finished I picked up my PSP and proceeded to the Playstation store to which of course greeted me with (80550460) and subsequently signed me out. This lead me to of course Google, which helped me to the find out that the PSN Sign-in is offline due to new security loophole that can reset passwords using just the date of birth and email address i.e, the information that was stolen in the first attack of PSN users. Which of course means even if the user has logged in after the restart to create a new password, that password is pretty much useless. Well, I'm going back to my Xbox. Later.

Friday, May 13, 2011

Justice takes time, but how long is just too long.

"Lady Justice is bind,
Someone take off her blindfolds
She can not see what is just,
Her scales need readjustment"- By Dulac

So I was going through some news articles and I found this one story that upset me, but why it upset me doesn't seem to be the popular opinion. In 1984, 17 year-old college freshman Liz Seccuro was at a Frat party with a friend of hers. She got separated from her friend when two guys gave her a drink spiked with a roofie, then a third guy entered the room and they basically gang raped her. That's a very fucked up event that shouldn't happen to anyone. The next day she goes to the Dean's office and reports the guys who raped her, now some asshole, or asshole tells her not to go to the cops and let the University handle it. Now this shouldn't have to be said but, fuck schools that do that. University of Virginia(around an hour or so away from my house) fuck you. But, she still should have went to cops anyway. 
But hey this story just keeps getting better and better. 20 or so years later, one of the guys sends her a letter apologizing for raping her. Now, I'm not condoning what he did, nor am I defending him taking advantage of that woman but forgiveness is something I believe in, on top of that, supposably, he's a recovering alcoholic and apologizing for his misdeeds he done while intoxicated was one of his steps to recover or something. Now in all fairness we don't know hi level of intoxication during the incident, for all we know he was fully aware of what was going on. Regardless of that, going back to my point about forgiveness, now I don't know the full story, but they exchanged email addresses and through email he basically confess to what he did and pulled a T-Pain (blame it on the alcohol). So after she gets his confession, she takes it to the police. (Ok, hold the fuck on- isn't the statue of limitations up already?) No, no it isn't. So she's able to bring charges against this guy, 20 years after the fact. And he gets sentenced to 10 years in prison. The fuck? 
Now he only had to serve 6 months of that(people are very upset over that), but he shouldn't have served any time at all. I mean, I have the same problem with trying these Nazi guys, in fact it's a waste trying them because it happened so long ago that they were able to live full lives and probably don't have much time left anyway. As I'm reading the comments of the article and seeing these people upset he only had to serve such a short sentence, it makes me think, "how would these people feel if they made a mistake decades ago, owned up to it, and then went to jail for it?" It's nonsense and a gross waste of Tax dollars.
 But it gets better, Liz is being called courageous and all that good stuff, because she's writing a book that she's bound to profit off of. I'm no professional publisher, but c'mon seriously? I'd rather hear the guy's story because it sounds a lot more interesting. In fact dude (I know you aren't reading this) I'll help you write it. Lol justice huh? The moral of this story has to be "If you every commit a crime and get away with it, don't feel sorry and don't confess no matter how long ago it happened. But hey, Justice is blind. 

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Why Would The Government Lie About Osama's Death?

Why do these idiots think we're dead?
If there's one thing that could be learned from these conspiracy theorists, it's that most of the time they're insanely entertaining,but are they insane? Yes, most of them are. Then again blind faith in the government is equally insane. Sure it's not popular to withhold information from the general populace, but us rational individuals know why they have to keep certain things from us. It's to either protect us, business interests, or keep our enemies from getting dangerous information. A fully transparent government would be absurd, especially in this- the age of the internet. But a shady government like that of Libya, North Korea, or China, is equally as shitty as a fully transparent one. As Americans we take this balanced amount of information we receive for granted. A prime example of that would be, of course, the death (killing/murder/assassination/ whatever your view of that is) of Osama Bin Laden. While reading all these Osama conspiracy theories, I thought to myself, "what would be the point of lying about Bin Laden's death?" So I came up with a few bullshit reasons that our government would lie about his death.

  • 1. Our overlords are preparing a big event to take away more of our "freedoms"(the reason I put that inside quotation marks is because, I might be a bit naive but since 9/11 the only freedom I feel I personally lost was the freedom to keep my shoes on in the Airport terminal during a security check.) They're going to stage a giant event for us to be afraid of so that they can equip us all with those fancy RFID chips (google it) and be able to track our every movement. Yes some people really think this way.
  • 2. To balance the budget. I never see any conspiracy theorists talk about this but by all means it seems very plausible when you think about it. We bit the head off the snake so we can slowly start to pull out, slowly start spending less on the war effort eventually converting it into a reconstruction effort. We can start watching oil prices drop which in turn would mean the cost of transporting goods would drop meaning lower prices on goods which would translate into Americans getting more for their buck, which in turn would leave more money in the pockets of Americans for which they can spend on education, retirement, or just superfluous shit to further boost our dwindling economy.We'll lose our dreaded imperialistic stereotype and watch international relations improve. Could that happen, well it's a long shot but it's possible. 
  • 3.Our government just likes fucking with us. Those in power love to see us inflamed, scared, joyous, and confused. It's sort of a sick game for these business leaders who have too much money and too much free time, they study us and gauge our reactions, we're all some part of a huge experiment on human nature. That sounds cool, it also sounds like bullshit.
I'm not one to buy into conspiracy theories, but trying to figure out what these people think is going on is a pretty fun thing to do. With all the details about Bin Laden's death and the cause of it becoming more and more clear, it's nice to think we know the whole story, but we don't and we probably never will. So the next time you read or hear something from Alex Jones or some other person you'd call a deranged lunatic, don't just stop reading or stop listening. Embrace what they're saying and think on your own. For every secret there's billions of possible truths that we just don't know so don't let one person tell you something and you buy into it, we need you speculate on your own, ask your own questions, and come to your own conclusions. Share them with others rationally, not like some crazy asshat calling those who don't believe what you believe "sheep" defend your views, and embrace other plausibilities and add on to your own.
For the record, there's no UFO at area 51- but hey what do I know. Now if you excuse me I have to go boil my water to make sure the fluoride is too ineffective to convince me to vote for Barack Obama in 2012. Expand your mind dudes.

Friday, May 6, 2011

The End of Batman Beyond.

Oh Hell Yeah.
You ever notice how a lot of late nineties/early millennium western cartoons seem to have been pretty much forgotten by the general populace because honestly, a lot of them are barely memorable unless someone happens to bring them up. Let's test that out shall we? Spiderman Unlimited. You either A. Have no idea what is it. Or B. Googled it and was thought "OH YEAH!" I  mean just about everyone born after 1988 and before 2003 knows the original Pokemon theme, they remember watching Goku defeat Freiza while the planet Namek crumbled around them, but you don't remember anything about Mummies Alive or Speed Racer X. But I'm not getting into those shows because, I don't remember a thing about them. One thing I noticed about cartoon series' from that time period is, they either never really ended, or we have no clue how they ended.  I mean was there ever a resolution to Captain Planet? 

But I digress, this was either a great lead in or an awful one for what I'm going to talk about now. You see the series I'm going to get into did in fact end, on a different show. That show of course is Batman Beyond.('member? You member!) Calling Batman Beyond awesome would be an insult to it. The setting was a unique take on a future Gotham city, the characters, for the most part were all finely developed, and the animation from what I can remember was always consistent. I remember spending hours on the playground talking about how awesome this show was. 

Before I get into the last episode it might be best to give a little more backstory. Bruce Wayne has grown too old and sick to fight crime so he mostly stays in his mansion. One day this kid named Terry(I can't remember if he was chasing them or getting chased) and some Jokerz gang members ran onto the grounds of Wayne Manor, while on the grounds they run into an elderly Bruce Wayne. Bruce and Terry fight off the gang members but then Bruce's heart starts to give him trouble so Terry helps the old man back to his house. While there Terry happens to stumble across the Batcave while Bruce is sleeping, then Bruce wakes up and runs him out of his house. When Terry goes home he finds that his father had been murdered by the Jokerz gang. But later he finds out that the murder was arranged by some high level guy's bodyguard at Bruce's company. Terry returns to Bruce manor and steals the Batsuit much to Bruce's dismay(he even paralyzed him.) but eventually Bruce let's him get justice and boom, we have a new Batman. Over the course of the series we see Terry grow up from a stubborn headstrong teen to Batman. 
This was a great show and it even won an Emmy, but shockingly enough it was put on hiatus so the studio can focus on Justice League, which is why the Batman Beyond series finale occurs during Justice League Unlimited in the final episode of season 1  correctly entitled, "Epilogue". 

The episode opens with an older Terry(not in his  Bat suit) breaking into the compound of Amanda Waller [Not going into her back story so check here.]. This episode is told mostly in Flashback format. Terry has that cliche "If my enemies ever find out I'm a hero they might come after you" speech to his girlfriend when she mentions that they've been dating for 15 years and should be married (this makes this 15 years after the beginning of Batman Beyond and 65 years after the events of Justice League). We also see Terry quit the Justice League but the defining part was when he spazzed  out on Bruce because,Terry ran his and Bruce's DNA and it turned out to be an exact match. 
Yup, Bruce is Terry's father but not in the way you'd expect. Amanda Waller informs Terry that it was she who rewrote his father's reproductive DNA with Bruce's(You know, science) because Bruce was getting older, and "The World needs a Batman." Of course, this shocks Terry, because he feels that everything that happened to Bruce would happen to him.Waller informs him that if he wants a better life than Bruce he has to take care of the people who love him. The next scene we see Terry calling his girlfriend to set up a date. He says he has to ask her something in person and we see him with a Diamond ring, signaling that he's going to propose to her. Bruce walks in and informs Terry about Superman needing his help on a case. He suggests Terry eats something as to which Terry doesn't. In the last line of the series Bruce says "You're a stubborn piece of work kid." To which Terry replies "Just like my old man."  

All I can say is, it was a good ending. Nothing great but not too bad. I guess my only problem with the ending is that it's like skipping a bunch of chapters then literally reading the epilogue.(Title makes sense now huh?) But as I said Batman Beyond was still a great show. And it doesn't matter whether you remember it or not nor does it matter if you never even seen it, it's well worth a watch through. 

Overall Enjoyment: 9/10

Value: 10/10

Final Score 9.7/10

Monday, May 2, 2011

Osama Bin Laden is dead.

Ladies and gentlemen... We got him. After 9 and a half years, countless lives destroyed, we finally got him. This is a very surreal feeling, no one seen this coming. The atmosphere around the country, no around the world is mystifying. There's a barrage of emotions ranging from hope to fear, relief to anxiety, naturalism and patriotism to anti-patriotism and raging against the "machine".  Only took 10 seconds for the conspiracy theorists to come out of the wood work, yes I'm talking to you Alex Jones. This astonished me while I was reading it. Apparently Osama Bin Ladin died in 2001 and they put him in some super secret government morgue where he was flash frozen....WHY!? What would be the purpose? Why would they do that? What would be the point? Oh it's part of the plan to take more freedoms away! NEW WORLD ORDER! ILLUMINATI! Uhhh- I'm going to be leaving that alone. But here's some fun facts: Hitler's death was also announced on May 1st, and the illuminati were said to have been formed may 1st 1776. Oh my god it's all starting to add up, Pope John Paul II became one step closer to becoming a saint, Canada had a major election, William and Kate went on their honeymoon and it's The Rock's birthday. Holy shit, it all makes sense now. What? You can't see it?! Oh it's because you're brainwashed by the media. All of these random events are clearly tied together. I'll leave you alone to think of that. With all seriousness, all I can say to those people who think this is some kind of huge conspiracy to keep a Kenyan Socialist Muslim in office for some odd reason- lex parsimoninae man, lex parsimoniae. Don't you love Latin? I'll get more into that in my upcoming post. Make sure your aluminum foil hats are on tight, because they're about to get blown away.