Saturday, July 2, 2011

Saturday Cesspool – July 2nd, 2011

Don't despair Brad H, you're not the only Yahoo commenter without a clue.

In our second weekly installment of Saturday Cesspool, we trek deep into the thought-desert of the conservative mind, in search of the oft-rumored, but never-witnessed mythical creature the media likes to call “common sense.” Unfortunately much of this supposed “common” sense comes straight from ass of David Koch and into the mouths of uninformed, God-fearing, gun-hugging, racists who troll the land of Yahoo News Comments.

In an article about Obama stating that we should end tax breaks for the wealthy and corporations, we find conservative idiocy on full, unabashed display:

Yahoo News Article

“Cut Foreign Aid including Illegal Immigrant Benefits...that will save us US Taxpayers Billions of Dollars!” – Fed Up American

Illegal immigrant benefits? If I would have known these people were getting benefits packages, I would have signed up to be an illegal immigrant years ago.

“Most normal Americans know you have to stop spending....that's the way we run our lives. The government is no different. Some things have got to go. Like the 47% of people who pay no income tax but still get a refund. FACT” – Mr Peck

You mean the 47% of Americans who don’t earn enough to be able to afford to pay income taxes? Yes, taxing the homeless, bankrupt, and terminally ill is an excellent idea. Maybe we can tax rats and cockroaches too, I heard they’re a bunch of no good freeloaders.

“How about this... everyone... EVERYONE... flat 15% tax outside of FICA. No loopholes, no write-offs, no massive deductions. 15% whether you make $25,000 a year or $250,000 a year.” – Always

While we’re at it, why don’t we just lower taxes to 0%? Maybe we can make poor people human sacrifices to keep our government running.

“when is obama going to be held accountable like an adult.and stop these stallin area attack tactics.” – Kenneth Milburn

Stallin area attack tactics? That sounds pretty badass. I’m not sure what it means, but I hope Obama tries it.

“Obama: ending tax breaks required to cut deficit NO !!! ENDING YOUR PRESIDENCY REQUIRED TO CUT DEFICIT" – 10-BUCK-2

Shit man, if electing a new President eliminates the debt, we should be fine in no time. After all, we elect a new one every 4 to 8 years. Prosperity, here we come!

“we need government to go back to the size it was in the 50s and 60s” – Michael

Yeah, let’s return to the size of government that only had to provide for between 150 and 180 million people, when our current population is a little over 300 million. That’s not a stupid idea at all, no sir. To be fair though, I wouldn’t mind going back to 50’s tax rates, which never fell below 90%. Fuck yeah!

“just quit spending.” – Robert

Just quit spending… how did we not realize it was that simple? Maybe we won’t have to pay people unemployment if we can just convince them to stop eating too. Or maybe we can stop paying sick people’s medical bills if they just stop breathing. Thanks for the tip, Robert.

“Ending this guy's reign of terror will be a huge start in getting our country headed in the RIGHT direction!” – Dodger51

Reign of terror? Only in America can a moderate, compromising, weak-ass centrist who advocates giving everyone access to health care and not cutting aid to poor people be accused of being on a reign of terror. This motherfucker needs to go visit some third world fascist dictatorships and get a dose of reality.

“Cut the government not the tax break. Haven't they been given enough of your/my money already? Wake up America!” – Sam

Yeah, let’s just cut the government completely. Anarchy is a completely viable form of government. Some kid with a mohawk and a spray paint can told me so.

“What would democrats do if they couldn't constantly perpetuate class warfare? Oh yeah, race warfare. They have those markets cornered.” – Steph

Right… Black people are responsible for slavery, and poor people are responsible for massive income disparity in America. In other news, Speaker Boehner introduces legislation scolding the Jews for working in concentration camps.

“Obama said he was going to reach across the Isle in 2008 hows that going for ?”

I’m not sure exactly which Isle you’re referring to. I don’t know if there are any small enough to make that physically possible.

“If you reelect this man, you are all greater fools than I feared. I'll even vote for Sarah Palin over this guy.” – Arch Magus L

This isn’t even the pot calling the kettle black. This is the pot calling the kettle a pot.

“if you want to make things even and equal for everyone then push your representatives to adopt the Fair Tax...” – Walt B

So true! It says fair right there in the name, so how could it not be?!?!

"Does OBAMANATION have everyone HYPNOTIZED? We seem do his every COMMAND...." - Think About It!

The President trying to get everyone to do what he wants? Unacceptable. Unbelievable. I am at a loss for words that don't start with "Un."

"no more AFFIRMATIVE ACTION presidents,,," – W

If affirmative action is the reason Obama is President, I'd like to know which government program is teaching dumbasses like you how to use computerator machines.

"Environmentalism hates people" - Hh

Entirely irrelevant. Also, I'm sure it only hates you. I read it on wikipedia.

"End obama's reign, remove the unconstitutionally positioned muslim implant" - PeoplePower

Unconstitutionally positioned muslim implant? There might be a really bad 50's sci-fi movie about that.

"Never forget, the Democrats have done this to us!" - Independent

Did you forget that you're supposed to be pretending to be an independent?

"There are so many excellent suggestions to improve this nation on this board alone and no one seems to listen !!" - Just Numb


Come back next week, when we interview long-time Yahoo News comment contributor, and current Ku Klux Klan grand imperial wizard, about his opinion of the Civil Rights Act of 1964.


  1. what do i say?
    just amazing!
    keep it up+1

  2. Stopped reading after I read the following:
    Illegal immigrant benefits? If I would have known these people were getting benefits packages, I would have signed up to be an illegal immigrant years ago.
    States like California openly attempt to give tuition and scholarships to illegal immigrants.